Each day brings reality. It brings a journey, waiting to do that "something" that will make me happy. But every day, it seems like I'll be waiting forever. Truth be told? There hasn't been a day that I've been truly satisfied with everything that was said or done by me or by someone else to me. & every time I think about it, it makes me further realize how much I take life for granted..by not doing nearly half the things I aspire to do. People always say "live life to the fullest" & I'm ashamed that I don't live it the way I want, let alone to the fullest.
There's so much I want to do. so much I want to say. so much I want to explore. I want to find my passion in life. I want to have good friends that I can talk to about anything & can really have fun with. I want to enjoy what I do in life and enjoy the people I have around me.
But days go by and I feel like this is unattainable. I feel like I'm being hidden from the world & I'm being trapped inside a box where I mostly stay to myself. I'm accustomed to being on my own. And as much as I want to try, I feel like I just can't find my place in the world. I live everyday and feel like I barely exist. I'm waiting for a change and feel like I'll be waiting forever. My environment has more control over my life than I do. Maybe all I need is time or maybe I'm just waiting for that "something" to bring me to life. Either way, I feel like it'll never happen & I'll be waiting forever...
This may be new to you ; what can I say? I'm good at keeping feelings disguised & unaware to people around me. It's not good, but it's part of my puzzle. & this is just a piece.
*it just got personal .
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